she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
