You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
