i permit you to call me
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
