Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize
