is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Randomize
