hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
Jerry, you need to find god
Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
