i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
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