I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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