im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
Randomize
