Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
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