They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Randomize
