Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
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