i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
