I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Randomize
