She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
