i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize