So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
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