We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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