Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Randomize
