So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
When are your genitals available?
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
