I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Two words: blizzard sex
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize