this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
