Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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