oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Randomize
