Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Randomize
