Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Randomize
