fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
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