He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
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