so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
