I seem to have left my pride at pride
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
