Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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