I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Randomize
