wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Randomize
