my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Randomize
