I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
