North Korea, Best Korea!
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Randomize
