wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
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