I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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