Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Randomize
