I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Im part way to drunk.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Randomize
