Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Randomize