They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
