i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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