you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize