Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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