Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Randomize
