Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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