Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
