I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
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