we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
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