By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
