Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
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