the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
