dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
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