there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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