shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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