Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize
