shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
