Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Randomize
