eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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